bad news never had good timing

i was raised believing that everyone else comes before you. that you should help others before helping yourself, and someday in return someone will help you out when you need it the most. every time i've ever needed somebody, my "friends" all walked away from me. i was left alone in my darkest hour with no one to talk with, or at least no one who wanted to talk. it's upsetting. i've forgiven people time and time again, and they always say "it'll never happen again", but some how it does. i've been thinking about it a lot, and i've realized that none of those people were ever my friends. they used me in a sense so that they could have someone to vent to, someone to give them advice, and someone to always support them, and be on their side. but, when the tables turn, and i need help, they don't feel as if they need to provide, and help me out. i had just kind of accepted that was just how things were going to work out. i thought that was just what i deserved or something...but i'm starting to see that maybe i deserve better.
my current friends are fantastic,
and i love them all dearly
i think i may have finally found a few who aren't in it only for themselves.
i don't plan on changing how i am, and i don't plan on looking down on how i was raised. i'm just going to approach it all a bit differently now.