today was different.
i never understood how quickly things travel in school. especially in such a small school. it was possibly the worst day ever. it's right below yesterday. so many people cam up to me and said they were sorry to hear about what happened, and they proposed they could be a possible replacement, and that they hoped that made me feel better. "oddly it doesn't" is what i said every time. they always walked away yelling back for me to "just think about it". i couldn't obviously, i wouldn't. i don't believe in best friends anymore.
all things considered though, today was pretty good. only cried once, in fourth. i escaped to the bathroom before anyone could see. dani assured me no one would be able to tell, but i knew, and that hurt worse than the whole world knowing. i guess now it does. i'm actually on the verge of tears right now as i'm writing this, in sixth. ( i hand wrote it and decided to post it. now i have permanent proof that my life is no longer amazing.) today also showed me who my real true friends are. the ones that didn't ask me what was wrong, the ones that gave me a hug, or a card, or applejack treats. they either knew the reason for my sadness, or they could tell by my blank upsetting facial expression, or lack of expression. i know i've been pretty strong today, and i'm so proud of myself. wow, this is beginning to be lengthy, i apologize. i really don't have anyone to vent to anymore, so blogger is my new venting buddy. or at least the drafts section is.
wow, i just re-read this thing, and i realized i said i didn't believe in best friends anymore. crazy. i never thought that i'd say that. i never thought this would happen either, just goes to show anything's possible. friends just let you down. maybe i'm just the bad friend. that's all i am. a terrible horrible friend. maybe this is all my fault. maybe i shouldn't have said anything. i shouldn't have.
but i did.
i guess this is punishment
for speaking my mind
and telling you how i felt.
like you asked me to.
i hope you're happy now.
that's all i ever
wanted.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
So, are you ready to learn the hoedown throwdown?
(:
Awuh! Katelyn, I don't believe in best friends either, just TRUE friends.
The ones that are always there for you, even if you only see them once or twice.
The ones who can put a big SMILE on your face.
I'll always be there for you(:
kelsey
dude, you know it. :)
amy
yeah.
haha a true friend would be nice right now. :)
katelyn darling. don't lie to yourself. you did the right thing in speaking up, even though i don't remember exactly what happened and am not quite sure what it is exactly that you said. i don't understand how you could say that you're the bad friend. you're an incredibly good friend, better than anyone else i know. the things you do for me wouldn't even be done by brittany or aly, even though i've known them the majority of my life. the things that have happened are in no way your fault. you did exactly what i would have done and you know who it is that's throwing it all back at you. it isn't her or him or anyone else here on earth. i know you know that. don't forget it girl. i love you.
I really don't know what to say
I don't want to say I'm sorry because everyone says that
and I don't want to say "I know what ur going thru" cause then I'd be lying adn you don't need jerks right now
So I guess I'll say
I love you, and things will get better, I can promise that because
"the night is dark before the sun raises."
Sarah Elaine Arnett.
you make my life.
i love you!
Matt,
thank you.
i appreciate it.
<3
Post a Comment