apology letter

i wrote you an apology letter today
and an hour later i threw it away
i was revising it.
perfecting it.
making sure you could hear my cry.
when i noticed it was mostly a lie.

i said i was sorry for all the damage i had done.
for making your life a "living hell" because i wasn't number one.
i was sorry for unintentionally making you chose.
i thought after eleven months i wouldn't lose.

i was obviously wrong.
i promise to stay strong.
i know i'll be okay
gotta move on; gonna go my own way.

i've gotta a long life to live
so much love to give
and if you won't be there
i'll find someone else who'll care

no doubt, i'll miss you.
and all of the stupid stuff we do.
i mean did, it's no longer that way
just a bittersweet back in the day.