i feel so cold, and slightly unloved. i'm moody and impatient. i'm discontent and unsatisfied all of the time. i've been acting like a pessimistic person, and i've been a horrible friend lately. i'm never excited, and i'm turning into a pushover. i'm developing trust issues, and i feel as if the only person i can rely on in this world is my mother.

i'm having trouble reaching out to people. i hate feeling vulnerable, and lately that's the only thing i am feeling. i kinda predicted today wouldn't turn out well, and i'm almost positive it won't get better. i know next weekend will be better, but it seems so far away. i thought i had it all figured out, but it all ended up wrong. i just need an escape, but it seems as if i've lost it.

don't know what i'm going to do.
but, i've got some hard decisions ahead.
none of this is going to turn out well.
but nothing else has, so why should this be different?